"I Cannot Continue Living Like This. I Feel Like I'd Rather | Milaap
"I Cannot Continue Living Like This. I Feel Like I'd Rather Not Live'
  • AR

    Created by

    Atmasuman R
  • KS

    This fundraiser will benefit

    Kushadhwaj Singh

    from Angul, Odisha


I cannot do basic human things like eat food, drink water, or even take a bath without pain. I cannot continue living like this. Sometimes, I feel like I'd rather not be alive. That is better than this.” - Kushadhwaj Singh
Kushadhwaj Singh is 46 years old, but he has never lived a normal life. He suffers from a complex deformity called plexiform neurofibromatosis, which has caused the entire left half of the face, from forehead to chin to expand and hang to his abdomen.

‘People hate me just because of the way I look’

In addition to the physical pain and exertion he experiences daily, Kushadhwaj also undergoes mental anguish because of his condition. He believes he is a burden on his mother, who is forced to manage the household as well as take care of his needs, all by herself.


"I should have been a pillar of support for my mother at her age, but instead, I am having to rely on her completely. I tried doing everything in my capacity to be independent - even opened a shop in my village - but people refuse to come near me. They hate me and this prohibits me from walking around the village. Children are also scared of me." - Kushadhwaj

With nobody for support, his elderly single mother cannot save him

Kushadhwaj's mother Saraswati is a single mother who has no one to count on and begs for a living. On many days, she is not able to feed herself or her son. She cannot bear to see her son suffer day and night and prays to God for a miracle.


The good news is that Kushadhwaj’s condition is treatable, but it would cost approximately INR 75-80 lakhs. The whole process will involve a multidisciplinary team of plastic surgery, neurosurgery, ENT and interventional radiology, multiple inpatient admissions, complex surgical procedures - with back up of huge amount of blood and blood products for making up for its loss during excision. There is also the necessity of lengthy ICU stay, tracheotomy and use of medications for control of the infections affecting his brain and eyes.


“We don't even have clothes to wear. We cannot afford food on the daily either. How will we afford the treatment costs? I worry about who will take care of him after I pass away. He will not be able to survive at all." – Saraswati, mother.

This poor mother is requesting for financial help with her only son’s treatment. Click here to contribute.


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