I'm Jas belongs to SC caste, Suffering with gender dysphoria since my childhood. I faced casteism, racism and my feminine nature was the cherry on the cake. I had always symptoms of depression, i didn't share with anyone. I was bullied in school by teachers, some of my seniors and my classmates.
I afraid of going in class at that time. I tried to kill myself many times. Male washroom in school was not more than a hell for me. It kept on going till I reach the 10th standard. Still i was trying to commit suicide but i got a friend, she motivated me and I started concentrating on academics.
But dysphoria was still beating me internally. I used to cry whole night just because i didn't know what is happening to me and what has happened till now, and i got less marks than my expectations. It made me helpless again . I always wanted to be a doctor. But as i got less marks i couldn't get scholarship to get into coaching . It shattered me . My father somehow arranged money to get me into school.
I did a part-time job after my school to handle my school fee. I used to go school 8a.m - 2p.m and then i do work by 3p.m-9p.m. It was difficult for 16yrs old kid to go to school and a job. I got less time to study it affected my academics. Dysphoria, depression, financial crises were with me 🥺. I did fulltime work for some months after exams and somehow managed to pay the 12th fee. I focused only on academics that year but my mental health was same as it was.
My hardwork paid off i got 95% in 12th (2020). I wants to study and serve but my body is a prison for me. Its biggest obstacle and i always wanted to get medical interventions done to decrease dysphoria. I'm preparing for NEET-UG 2021 at home. I started councelling with a psychiatrist.
I want a right body soon so that my life become comfortable to an extent . I'm looking forward to start hormone replacement therapy and surgeries later on.Please contribute in my journey if can 🙏🥺