- Wajood/ वजूद
Hi,
My name is Sachish and I come from a small town of Uttar Pradesh which reeks of patriarchy and is a gendered society. Being a gender variant assigned female at birth (AFAB) person society never missed a chance to crush my spirit. My family didn’t support my education and as I grew up, the abuses also increased. When I was in my first year of college, my mother forced me to get married and when I resisted my family dropped me out of college.
However, I didn’t give up.
I started to teach in a school to support my further education. When I was 19 years old I mustered all the courage I had and visited a hospital so that I could start my transition. The “doctor” in the hospital misguided me and said that the transition will cost around 5 lakhs to start. Being a teenager without any family support I was disheartened as I didn’t have that much amount of money for transition. I focused on my studies and completed my MBA in HR and also MA in political science.
With time dysphoria also peaked, I felt very uncomfortable in all these gendered spaces and so I started withdrawing from society. I drowned myself in work and collected money for transition. I tried to start my transition again and visited different doctors for it. Then they directed me to get the gender dysphoria letter and an affidavit from the lawyer. I spent around sixty thousand rupees on it. However, after all the arrangements doctor made the suggested “You should establish a sexual relationship with a cisgender man so that you become sure about your identity” I was shocked to hear that and faced this transphobia. I became depressed and stopped the transition.
I tried to carry on and started living a dual life. Year after year my frustration piled up, I was looked over for promotions, professional opportunities and even after having relevant skills and experience I got limited due to my gender identity.
After sitting on a volcano for years, I finally exploded and came out to my friend who supported me. With his support, I got connected with the trans community who guided me on how to start the transition. With small steps towards my Wajood and every little change is a dream come true. I also consulted Dr Tapeshwar from Aura Clinic New Delhi for my top surgery. However, due to my financial limitations, I am unable to afford my top surgery. Hence, here I am, helpless and asking for 75,000 rs for my top surgery. Every small contribution will be a step towards my Wajood. Please help me achieve a lifelong dream and be a star to light up my dark sky with your contribution.
Thank You!