Then in 2017, I came to know that I am suffering from depression. After high school in 2009 I got admission to college and started my graduation. But during my first semester, I lost momentum. Suddenly I feel changes in my brain. This was all due to my family’s circumstances. My brother was on drugs and that changed everything. Our domestic conditions were very poor and violent. Everyday fights and sad environment exposed me to depression. I somehow became depressed and my family’s focus was on my brother. And no one noticed what effect this had on me. I got failed in my first semester since then I was not able to keep up with studies and society. From 2009 to 2017 I lost everything to my depression.
During this period I tried many times to do activities to make me healthy once again such as gym, running, job, but all was in vain as I was not able to concentrate and communicate properly with people.
What really happens in depression is that it affects your brain and block some hormones such as dopamine, serotonin, etc. these chemicals are responsible for a healthy person. When we feel good its dopamine released by the brain. When we study and concentrate serotonin is released by the brain and we can memories and concentrate. But in my case, these chemicals were never get released and my brain was dry as a desert. Thus, I had no feelings towards anything or anyone. I had no interest in anything. You can imagine how bad you feel when your own brain doesn’t let you do anything. That’s when many people suicide.
But in 2017 I decided it's over I should die. There’s nothing left for me here. No education no job. Nothing. Then I heard about depression and I consult a since then I am his patient. I am feeling a little bit better. But occasionally when I think about what I am going to do. I cry a lot and feel helpless.
Luckily, I started a job and I am feeling quite well since last year. my life was on track until corona hit hard again. I lost my job to corona and suddenly its all over again. but this time I am able to think and concentrate well. so, I want to do one thing I love doing which is making videos. I want to work as a short video maker. currently, I am making youtube videos, but I have no equipment and only a borrowed camera and an old laptop. you can check my youtube channels-
PUNJABI - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClJ7t8q-vRAdo8qPQyYur7g
HINDI - https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCJkhNIG2BSJtlfQNQpgV5FQ)
I want to buy equipment for my dream of movie-making. And camera gear is quite expensive such as a camera, lens, memory, drone, fast laptop etc. I will be thankful for the donation. I have many ideas for web-series, ad films, comedy movies, and youtube videos.
I heard people help those in need. So I am in extreme need. I want to start fundraising for my dream and parents. The best cure for depression is to get out and have some fresh air. Travel to some new places. Interact with people more. I want to learn about film making. I really like making videos and editing. I also want to do community work. Educate people about depression. A disease that not known by many.