I am a 23 years old trans man who hails from a very small town in Bihar. I was 20 years old when I told my family that I am trans. Only my mother supported me but the rest of my family cut all ties with me and I had to leave home.
I don’t have any home now!
It’s been 3 years since but even today I hear from my mother that my brother threatens to kill me. Without family support, I had to deal with a lot of problems, alone. The first one being finding a safe space to live.
Currently, I live in a boy's PG because this is what I can afford but being an AFAB person, I don’t feel safe here. The other boys question me as to why I layer my T-shirt with an undershirt all the time, even in summers. I have not had my top surgery done yet, hence I have to wear my chest binder all the time to keep my dysphoria at bay and also to hide my trans identity from the other boys in the PG. Despite my efforts, I think some of them have their doubts about my identity and hence I feel afraid to live here, every single day. But I have nowhere else to go.
I still kept my spirits up and high and had dreamt of starting my own small business. I had managed to save some money for the same too. But due to Covid-19 lockdown, I lost any means of earning, and all my savings were spent on my rent and medical bills when I got a fracture in my right hand and also skin infections.
Still, to pursue my dream, I borrowed 90,000 from my friends who were kind enough to help me. Using that money I bought some materials that I needed for my business. My next step was to buy a place for my own shop. A guy from my PG assured me that he could help me buy it and would help me with all the legal work. I trusted him and gave him Rs. 85,000, the money required to buy the shop. He returned with some legal documents to convey that now I owned the shop.
After that, he left the PG.
Three days later when I went to check up on things, I was shocked to find out that the documents were fake. That person had cheated me and ran away with my savings. My dreams were crushed. I was crushed.
I have suicidal thoughts but I know I need to return the money I borrowed from my friends and I need to earn a living to be able to rent a proper place so that I can have my mother stay with me. I live for the sake of my mother.
I intend to use the money I get in donations as follows:
1. Shifting to a safe place = 13,500
- Moving and packing - 3500
- Food and shelter for 2 months - 4000(room rent) + 6000(food)
2. Top Surgery cost = 1,50,000 (including travel, food, shelter and medicines)
Grand Total = ₹ 2,48,500
You can contribute by donating money (even a small amount will make a big difference) and by spreading the message through your network.
I thank you from the bottom of my heart.