My world is sent into a spin when my mother was diagnosed with oral cancer. She had terrible pain in her mouth, we were convinced it may be some ulcer that she gets every now and then. How can anyone imagine oral cancer? When I heard it from the doctor for the first time I was confused and angry. I was devastated that she cannot choose a dignified death. I dread at the thought of my mother dying in a pool of blood.
It was worse than cancer itself to see her gradually losing her voice and smile. The moment she lost her voice, silence filled all our home and our lives. Our lives began to fall apart. The diagnosis was followed by repercussions of trauma. She had limitations in her body movement and became extremely weak, she couldn’t swallow. She tried talking to us but she couldn’t. For the first time, we saw her eyes filled with tears. The pain of not able to communicate to her children and our inability to understand what she was going on her mind was too much to bear.
I’m sure she wants to talk about our future. She doesn’t think about her death, she thinks about our future. How can I think about my marriage or future? All these would become meaningless without my mother. She had an emergency surgery, yet she is critical now. I wanted to know every detail of how my mother is feeling at every moment, not knowing what is going on her mind is terrifying than everything.
I wish desperately that my mother, who has struggled all these years and who has showered us only love and happiness throughout our life, who has sacrificed all her needs for us to live as fully as possible for the rest of her life without the fear of painful death hanging over her life.
My mother's suffering is too much to bear. She needs to recover completely from this dreadful life and live peacefully as she always wished. My life will not be the same without her and I will never be able to forgive myself if I fail to save my mother from this pain and trauma.
My father Syed who works as a peon, my sister Shakila who is physically challenged, my brother Kadeer Ahmed who lost his legs post an operation, are crying in silence. Our house is filled with a strange silence and it hits all of us terribly. Her absence at home is felt very strong
How can you help
I work as a teacher in a primary school. Since the diagnosis, I have never been able to go to school regularly. Our family income is Rs 10,000 per month. Treatment requires Rs 4,50,000.
Please support me to save my mother.