Help Me In My Battle Against Blood Cancer | Milaap
Help Me In My Battle Against Blood Cancer
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    from Coimbatore, Tamil Nadu

From the moment I met him, I knew he was special. Kandu and I fell in love and wanted to get married, but my mother said the family would never agree to a love marriage because he’s Hindu and I’m Christian. Even then, she supported us. It wasn’t easy though. I was so happy to marry the love of my life, but I was also sad that Kandasamy’s mother didn’t come for the wedding. I know how much it broke his heart. Time heals everything, they say, and it did. His mother finally came around and accepted our marriage. Now, we have two beautiful children. My husband works for a private firm and travels every other day across the country, so he doesn’t get to spend too much time with us sometimes. Whenever he is in town, I make sure we all spend quality time as a family. My husband and children are everything to me, and we were all happy in our own small world.

Everything was going fine for us until the end of 2015 when I suddenly fell ill. I had such a high fever and could barely move on my own. I couldn’t even get up. We went to the doctor and they told us that my haemoglobin was low. I had blood transfusions and felt better. 6 months passed after that, without any hint of the long battle I had ahead of me. I was healthy and happy. Life resumed normally as my husband got busy with work and my children went back to school. But I fell sick again, and this time it was worse than the last. Once again, I had a transfusion. This continued for a few months. For a long time, I thought it was because I was stressed about taking care of the home and children and wasn’t taking care of myself enough. So I started taking it easy. In this time, my children really took care of me. My husband had to go back to work, so they helped me with everything. I’m truly blessed to have such a caring family. Soon, everything went back to normal again.

After February 2017, my condition began to worsen. I was taken to the hospital every month because I had become so weak. I was so worried and frustrated at the same time. All my test results showed that I was normal, but I didn’t feel normal at all. In fact, I felt like something was slowly killing me from the inside. My children too started to worry by then. Every day they would ask me why I’m not walking around like I used to. I never want my children to feel like they’re losing me, so I’ve tried to put up a brave front. It was only in January that I found that I had blood cancer. I was living with it for more than two years without knowing what was causing the pain.

My children don’t know how serious the disease is, but they can sense that something is gravely wrong. How do I tell my children that I might die without treatment? They cry all day and watching them cry, I can’t help but break down. They tell me that they’ll take care of me all day and that I should just go back home with them. I don’t know what to say sometimes. I wish I could be as happy and cheerful I used to be, I’m trying my best, but Cancer has taken everything away from me. My husband is devastated. I know he’s trying his best to get me the treatment I need, but there’s only so much he can do. The only thing that can save me now is chemotherapy and we can’t even afford it. I feel terrible to put my family through this. I want to live for them, I have to make it.

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