I See My Wife Live In My Children, I Can't Let Them Grow Unhappy

Everything I see reminds of her and I have no one to talk about it. I had always talked to her when I was upset and now she is gone too. There is no escape from this huge void of my wife Devi left in my life. I hadn't realized how many roles she filled for me - my wife, my friend, my comforter and my everything, I feel isolated. The beautiful woman with whom I lived has gone. A cruel accident has killed my wife, the worst of all, it killed a mother of my two children.

She went to pick my 3-year-old daughter from the play school. A share auto hit her and she had a terrible blow on the back of her head. She never got up after that! She was lying unconscious for a week in the ICU. I never entertained the fear of 'death' even for a minute. How is it ever possible to leave behind two children? I was running back and forth to the hospital and begging money to everyone I knew. I did everything I could do to take her home as soon a possible.

Just exactly after a week, on a morning, I rushed to hospital with whatever little money I had borrowed for the day to get her medicines. Doctors told she has passed away. When I heard that she was dead I went numb.

I thought the sadness would swallow me but instead of collapsing in a hysterical heap I buried all my feelings and to take care of my children. They are motherless now and they haven't realized that yet.

They cry for her all the night and I tell them different stories. How can a 6-year-old and a 3-year-old understand death? Together with my children, I'm learning to live without her.

I have not yet come out of the shock. How do you even begin to pick the pieces after a such a tragic loss?This question rips me apart. How will I take care of my children all alone? What will I do for their education? How will I pay my debt back? How will I give my children 3 square meals all the day?

I'm a driver and I earn a very meager income with which I have to pay my house rent and take care of my two children. I spent Rs 3 lakh for my wife's treatment yet I lost her. Now I have to pay the debts.

I know nothing can fill the space and bring back her but I have to move on for my children. I don't know if I can fill her space but I can't let my children grow hungry and without education.

Now all I have is my children and I have to take care of them. It is through them I see my Devi.

Help me to pay my debts back and to give a peaceful life to my children!